The Great Reminder

I've seen me in here somewhere,
Attempting to escape.
In my dreams, running to an end
That never takes shape.

A flash, a glimpse of me in here,
Just before the storm,
A me that is beautiful
A me that is warm.

There am I, the one I've seen.
Who I am, the one I've been.
Hoping that I break through
The barrier at last.

As I come to the surface
I welcome me gladly
Knowing the price to pay
Will surely be great.

Then just for a fraction,
A splitting of seconds
I see peace and perfection
The me I want to be.

And just as it happened
The first time and forever
It seems I'll never know
What it is or how to be.

There I was on the block
Pitted against nothing
For I knew in my mind
And have never known since.

Except for these fleeting
Ever less than a moment
There it is, there I am
And then it's all gone.

If only I could save myself,
Reach out and hold on
To the dream world I live in
That harbors my mind.

Then I'd be free from
The distance and coldness
That keeps peace from my efforts
And pride from my boldness.